Orchimaru crackfic
by Ryulovesdragon
Summary: Orchimaru is one of the most feared man in the ninja world, but what if somebody beat him in his own games...crackfic. Oneshot.


**The serpent society and Orchimaru!**

A/N: this is my very first crackfic. Sasusaku impiled. This is not a crossover . I guess, 'cause the socityb members are ooc s.

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto or Marvel Serpent Society.

Every serpent is 17/18 here, only Sakura is 15. Plus not every member of the socity will show up!

At Orchimaru hideout: Otokagure:

"Mmmmmm"- a certain gagged Uchiha tried to scream, but failed. He was sweating…heavily.

"Ssssssssasssssske-kuun, I love you ssssso much"- the snake lord hovered over the poor Uchiha's body.

Said 'Sasuke-kun' was tied to Orchimaru's bed. He was struggling hard, but failing miserable. He remembered everything, clearly

Flashback:

"Dinner is ready, Ssssssssassssssssssssssssuke-kuuuun"- Orchimaru chirped! [Right, chirped!]

Sasuke, Kabuto and Orchimaru ate in silence.

Suddenly Sasuke felt light-headed. Veeeeery light headed.

"Is there any problem, Sssssassssuke-kuuun"- Orchimaru….right, chirped again![ [ Orchimaru from background- "hey! What about those chirps?"

Me- "shut up white snake pedophile, or I'll cut your hair….Lee-style *smirk*

Orchimaru-" noooooooooooooooo" *faints*]]

"I…..I'm n….not felling well…"- Sasuke rubbed his eyes, trying hard to get the sudden dizziness out of them.

"Sssssssssssssstop sssssssssssstruggling, Sssssssssssssasssssssssssuke-kuuuuuuuuuun. Give up already. There'sssssss no point you can fight my sssssssssssssedative "- the Manda summoner cackled mercilessly.

End of flashback:

Orchimaru discarded his shirt and tug at Sasuke's shirt.

Tears pricked out his from his scared black orbs. Oh! How he wished to go back to his home, his safest place, to his friends and teacher, to his….Sakura. Only….only if he listened to Sakura's words once….only if…

Unknown to himself, the 16 year old boy started to cry.

All at once…..

"Oi…..lowlife!"- A feminine cheerful voice spoke.

Both the male's heads turned towards the source of the voice. There, 5/6 feet away from them, stood a….pink haired girl in a red tank top and black denim hot pants, a pair of brown leather boots and a pair of gloves! Her emerald eyes held pure amazement and soft pink lips held a small smirk.

"Such a pedophile you are"- _she_ smirked at a dumbfounded Orchimaru.

"I KNOW YOU"- the snake shanin screamed.

"Geez, stop screaming like a 3 year old already"

"What do you want…but first, how on earth could you enter in my room without me knowing?"

"I want YOU to free THAT boy and to answer your scoend question, your crused seal army's loosing their touch"- She winked at him.

"W…wh…at d…did y..yyyou d..do to t… ?"

"Nothing. I just get past them while they were sleeping"

"GUARDS…."- the snake shanin shouted. Immidietly 70/80 curse seal bearer poofed out behind him. With a frowning Kabuto.

"Seize her"- in his command, they jumped over her.

"Not that easy bro!"- a male voice spoke from behind Sakura.

A…cobra mask wearing man[ boy] came out from behind Sakura. He was wearing a green shirt and black pants. His green hair was a little bit messy and his black slit eyes gleamed in amusement. [cobra]

"Right, not that easy"- another boy walked out from out of the blue. [ sidewinder]

"W…WHO'RE YO-"

Our not soo feborite snake pedophile was cut in his mid screaming by another feminine voice.

" You call yourself a man?"- Orchimaru froze as he felt a slime thing on the back of his neck. [ Anaconda]

"You're just a looser who can only…..scream." [ viper]

" And when we're done, you won't be able to scream anymore"- [black mamba]

"With the annoying ssssslutish voice of yours"- [ cottonmouth]

A serious looking boy nooded. [ death adder]

And just how where they coming inside the room…well…..that had something to do with a girl…a girl who blew up the bedroom floor when no one was there to notice and hid in a corner.[ diamondhead]

[ remember it's a crackfic, so anything can happen!]

"Now, now…..let him go before we make you dance to death" [ asp]

A/N: this is my very first crackfic/funfic . Sasusaku implied. This is not a crossover . I guess, 'cause the society members are ooc s.

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto or Marvel Serpent Society.

Every serpent is 17/18 here, only Sakura is 15. Plus not every member of the society will show up!

At Orchimaru hideout: Otokagure:

"Mmmmmm"- a certain gagged Uchiha tried to scream, but failed. He was sweating…heavily.

"Ssssssssasssssske-kuun, I love you ssssso much"- the snake lord hovered over the poor Uchiha's body.

Said 'Sasuke-kun' was tied to Orchimaru's bed. He was struggling hard, but failing miserable. He remembered everything, clearly

Flashback:

"Dinner is ready, Ssssssssassssssssssssssssuke-kuuuun"- Orchimaru chirped! [Right, chirped!]

Sasuke, Kabuto and Orchimaru ate in silence.

Suddenly Sasuke felt light-headed. Veeeeery light headed.

"Is there any problem, Sssssassssuke-kuuun"- Orchimaru….right, chirped again! [[ Orchimaru from background- "hey! What about those chirps?"

Me- "shut up white snake pedophile, or I'll cut your hair….Lee-style and make you shout youthful speeches. *smirk*

Orchimaru-" noooooooooooooooo" *faints*]]

"I…..I'm n….not felling well…"- Sasuke rubbed his eyes, trying hard to get the sudden dizziness out of them.

"Sssssssssssssstop sssssssssssstruggling, Sssssssssssssasssssssssssuke-kuuuuuuuuuun. Give up already. There'sssssss no point you can fight my sssssssssssssedative "- the Manda summoner cackled mercilessly.

End of flashback:

Orchimaru discarded his shirt and tug at Sasuke's shirt. [ you do know his intentions, right?]

Tears pricked out his from his scared black orbs. Oh! How he wished to go back to his home, his safest place, to his friends and teacher, to his….Sakura. Only….only if he listened to Sakura's words once….only if…

Unknown to himself, the 16 year old boy started to cry.

All at once…..

"Oi…..lowlife!"- A feminine cheerful voice spoke.

Both the male's heads turned towards the source of the voice. There, 5/6 feet away from them, stood a….pink haired girl in a red tank top and black denim hot pants, a pair of brown leather boots and a pair of gloves! Her emerald eyes held pure amazement and soft pink lips held a small smirk.

"Such a pedophile you are"- _she_ smirked at a dumbfounded Orchimaru.

"I KNOW YOU"- the snake shanin screamed.

"Geez, stop screaming like a 3 year old already"

"What do you want…but first, how on earth could you enter in my room without me knowing?"

"I want YOU to free THAT boy and to answer your second question, your cursed seal army's losing their touch"- She winked at him.

"W…wh…at d…did y..yyyou d..do to t… ?"

"Nothing. I just get past them while they were sleeping"

"GUARDS…."- the snake shanin shouted. Immediately 70/80 curse seal bearer puffed out behind him. With a frowning Kabuto.

"Seize her"- in his command, they jumped over her.

"Not that easy bro!"- a male voice spoke from behind Sakura.

A…cobra mask wearing man[ boy] came out from behind Sakura. He was wearing a green shirt and black pants. His green hair was a little bit messy and his black slit eyes gleamed in amusement. [cobra]

"Right, not that easy"- another boy walked out from out of the blue. His red hair and brown eyes complimented hid yellow shirt and green cargo pants. [ sidewinder]

"W…WHO'RE YO-"

Our not soo favorite snake pedophile was cut in his mid screaming by another feminine voice.

"You call yourself a man?"- Orchimaru froze as he felt a slime thing on the back of his neck. This girl was blonde, with white eyes. She had a light green shirt and pants. And right now she was touching Orchimaru's neck with her tentacle arm. [ Anaconda]

"You're just a looser who can only…..scream." everything about this girl was dark green. From her hair to her outfit to her eyes! [ viper]

" And when we're done, you won't be able to scream anymore" now everything about this girl was …..black. [black mamba]

"With the annoying ssssslutish voice of yours"- a purple haired red eyed and purple dressed boy scoffed.[ cottonmouth]

A serious looking green haired yellow eyed boy nodded. Since he couldn't talk.[ death adder, he's silent for some reason, he never talks ]

And just how where they coming inside the room…well…..that had something to do with a dark magenta haired, dressed in all pink black girl…a girl who blew up the bedroom floor when no one was there to notice and hid in a corner.[ diamondback]

[ remember it's a crackfic, so anything can happen!]

"Now, now…..let him go before we make you dance to death"- a raven haired beauty smirked. [ asp]

"W….w…..who…are y…uo?"- if you look at Orchimaru, you'd think he'll faint any moment.

"We are known as the SERPENT SOCIETY. The green haired masked boy is Cobra, the red haired is Sidewinder . The blonde girl is Anaconda, the all green one is Viper while the all black is Black mamba. The purple haired is Cottonmouth and the yellow eyed is Death adder. The pink haired is Diamondback and the raven haired is Asp. And I am Haruno Sakura aka Brown Taipan."- Sakura smirked. [ everyone is smirking here lately! ]

"- And just what do you think you can do?"- now Orchimaru smirked [ see?] suddenly back to his old-arrogant-self!

"You're nothing but a week girl whom Sasuke reject-"

Kabuto was sent flying through enormous walls by none other than Anaconda, who crept behind him without him knowing.

"Who's next?"- she cracked her knuckles.

" Get them"- Orchimaru….yeah right, screamed again!

"Let's do this society."- Sakura charged at the cursed sealed army with her gang.

Anaconda reaped everyone's head off who dared to get in her way, while Asp just blasted her targets off. Death adder was veeeeeeery happy to slaughter people, Black mamba smirked and started her job. Cottonmouth…as soon as he opened his biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mouth some men fainted.

"Ha?"- he asked…..himself….maybe?

Diamondback and viper fought side by side and killed the rest of them. Sidewinder just…..stood there, doing nothing. Suddenly a man came from behind him and was about to hit him when Sidewinder teleported him straight to…Konoha dungeon!

After some moments, every single man in the shanin's army was deceased. Plus Kabuto died by that one previous punch! [ in crackfic people die easily!]

Orchimaru ran at Sakura as she stood calmly….like the very calm weather before a deadly storm.

"DIIIEEEEEE"- Sakura stepped aside as Orchimaru jumped on her and summoned Manda.

Manda came, looked down at the Serpent Society, then…."I..I'M SSSSSSSSSSO SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSORRY MASSSSSSSSSSSSTER. I…DON'T KNOW IT WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOU. FORGIVE MEEEEE"- and he disappeared just like he came!

"Now _**you**_ die"- Sakura punched him…..and he was dead like Kabuto!

"You alright?"- she asked Sasuke as she unties him.

"Yes…I'm alright."

"Are you willing to go to Konoha with us?"

Sasuke answered her by engulfing her in a tight hug. Oh! How he missed _his_ Sakura…

She returned the hug. Smiling.

Ok so story ends here, flames are allowed. Review me, if you hate or love or want to kill or give a lollipop to me, alright?So here's Ryulovesdragon signing out! Bye till my next weird fic!


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